White House — Washington
President Trump today signed an executive order banning the burning of Cracker Barrel’s old logo.
“Big day for America. Huge. Historic, even,” the President declared from the Oval Office. “From now on, the Cracker Barrel logo is safe—protected. No longer will it be disrespected with matches, lighters, or those little fire starters from Walmart. If you try it, you’re going away for a long, long time. Two years—maybe three. Very serious crime.”
The order came just minutes after Cracker Barrel announced it would be bringing back the old logo, raising questions about whether the White House is now legislating restaurant décor policy.
When pressed on why Cracker Barrel required federal protection, Trump responded: “The logo, folks, it’s iconic. People love it. Maybe more popular than the bald eagle. Some say better.”
Critics immediately questioned the move, noting that the Constitution is silent on the matter of rustic dining-chain signage.
Still, the administration remained firm: “We’re standing with Cracker Barrel,” a Press Secretary Leavitt said. “The American people deserve comfort food, rocking chairs, and a logo that cannot, under any circumstances, be set on fire.
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