AUSTIN, TX — Jasmine Crockett’s Redistricting Fiasco Steals the Spotlight
In a scene that left Texas lawmakers scratching their heads, Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett turned a routine redistricting hearing in the Texas Capitol into a spectacle of confusion. Spotted at a polished oak table, Crockett was hunched over a posterboard of the proposed Texas redistricting map, clutching a 64-pack of Crayola crayons with a scowl that screamed she meant business—except she didn’t know what the business was.
Crockett, known for her razor-sharp tongue and viral clapbacks, apparently mistook the redistricting map for a “shady, racist doodle” that needed her personal touch. “Y’all, this map is out here lookin’ like a segregation blueprint! I’m not playin’—I’ma fix this mess,” she snapped, scribbling Dallas in neon pink and reshaping the Houston metro area into what she called “a happy turtle to shut down the nonsense.”
“Listen, if they droppin’ racist maps like it’s 1950, I’m comin’ through with the glitter and the truth!” Crockett told stunned reporters, pointing to a sparkly star over Waco labeled “Taco Heaven.” She spent 20 minutes debating whether Austin should be “hot pink for the culture or teal for the vibes” to “erase the racism.” When a staffer gently explained that redistricting shapes electoral boundaries, not theme park rides, Crockett paused, squinted, and said, “Hold up, so this ain’t a racist art project I’m supposed to bedazzle?”
Governor Greg Abbott’s office issued a curt statement: “Texas redistricting is a serious process conducted by professionals using advanced software, not by congresswomen who think maps are for doodling or fighting imaginary racism with crayons.”
Crockett later posted her map on Instagram with the caption: “Texas ain’t ready for my glow-up! No more racist lines, just Black girl magic! Also, what’s redistricting? 🤔 #FixIt.” The post vanished shortly after.
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