New Report Find Jesus Was Whatever Political Affiliation The People Funding The Report Are

     A new report has found that Jeuss was whatever political affiliation the people funding the studies identify.

     Data, from the Non-Partisan Political Think Tank Dedicated To Saving America, analyzed the reports from political think tanks and found a 100% colloration between party affiliation and the party they would have presumed Jesus would be. 

    In the "What Party Would Jesus Be" Report from DemsacrossAmercia they stated that Jesus rode a Donkey, not an elephant in the triumphal entry, thus confirming his party affiliation."Jesus Rode a Donkey. Therefore we can presume he supported Democrats and everything we stand for...or dont stand for. Also, He said to feed the poor so there."

    Another report, titled "Which Party Was Jesus Really" from Redisthebest stated that, "Blood is red. Jesus' blood is red. The Communion wine was red. What more do we have to say?"

    The Green Party Think Tank also released a report, titled 'WPWJB?', saying, "God created the earth. Grass is Green. We need to save the earth. Its in the Genesis copy I got from PETA somewhere..."

    The Libertarian4Mrecia also released a report, titled 'Why Jesus Was A Liberterian'. In the report, it said, "Jesus did not care about sin, but he hated taxes so much he had Peter pay them from a fish's mouth."

    Lastly, the ConstutionPartyOfUSA ThinkTank released a paper stating, "The Bible is a Document The Constitution Is A Document."