New App Takes Work Out Of Canceling People

 Houston TX

   A new app has been released that allows Liberals to cancel people automatically. Previously they would have to manually look someone up online, find their social media profile, and search for their old tweets manually. Now with CancelToday, they can do all that and more in five minutes. 

    The app features a face-matching database that will scan through all major social networks for the person you are attempting to cancel. It can also search the Internet for hurtful words the person has said such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control. It can also detect phrases such as, white people, NotTheBee, Fox News, Focus on The Family, Cancel The Verge, TheTechBoy, and Elon Musk.  

    The software can also scan other sites such as Disqus, The BabylonBee, and NotTheBee. If an account is found on the latter two sites you will be automatically canceled. For five dollars a month, it will search for someone's YouTube, Rumble, Odysse, and Vimeo subscriptions and comments. 

    The app has been downloaded 1 million times on launch day and has been used to cancel random people on the Internet who are white and said something. (Or did not say anything) 

   At publishing time CancelToday's founder had been canceled due to pictures of him attending church 15 years ago.