Hezbollah Gets Heart Attacks After Getting A Text

 Lebanon




      Multiple Hezbollah terrorists got heart attacks yesterday after someone tried to talk to them. "Nobody ever talks to me. Maybe it's cause I kill people for fun or smell bad but my pager is never used," one terrorist is cited as saying. "When I got a message I was so shocked I got a heart attack." 

             Lebanese doctors said that people trying to talk to you syndrome has backed up the local facilities by over 10000% and seems to be common in middle aged men with a kill count of over 5. Western doctors confirmed that US citizens were immune to this disease.

     At reporting time, millions of Hezbollah terrorists died after a woman snapped them back. 

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