Op Ed: Why Eating Cats Is A Good Thing For Society


               As I was watching the debate between Vice President Kamala Harris (may she live forever) and his evilness donnie I was appalled by the racist, bigoted, white supremacist statement that he uttered. “They are eating the cats.” This one statement is a myth about the great Haitian migrants who can do no wrong and basically should take over the city of Springfield and replace the people that live there. Nonetheless, eating cats is not happening in Springfield. It’s a hoax and I, I mean yt supremacists are calling in ho…I mean totally legitimate bomb threats.  

               As Americans, we should accept people who eat cats. We should aspire to be like them. That is why the Haitian migrants who are eating cats should be revered. It's an aspect of their culture and it prevents the number 2 existential threat to democracy (after trump) which is climate change. Cats are 4 legged mammals that emit  methane and gas. Gas that gets trapped in the air and makes it hot. Hot is bad because it feels bad and makes me sweaty. That is why we must decolonize and de-westernize ourselves from expecting tasty food that wasn’t the household pet and enjoy 90-degree weather with no roof. That is why we should eat more cats.

               Nonetheless, saying that Haitians eat cats is wrong and perverse. Its is a stereotype that is not happening. trumps dangerous project 2025 will cause people who eat cats to be shot. It's on page 793. I read it. Its far-right bigotry must be stopped and that is why you must vote for Commiela Harris. Her opponents call her that because they see it as an insult but one person's communism is another person's neighborliness. In fact, a popular Soviet and North Korean delicacy is grilled cats over an open fire. However, fires are bad. We must stop using them and learn to eat cold cats.

               In conclusion, Haitians are not eating cats. Haitians are eating cats and we should learn from them to save the environment. Anyone who says that Haitians are eating cats is racist, and cats are delicious.  WE ARE NOT EATING CATS WE ARE NOT EATING CATS WE ARE NOT EATING CATS WE ARE NOT EATING CATS WE ARE NOT EATING CATS WE ARE NOT EATING CATS WE ARE NOT EATING CATS!!! 

 

 

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